Dear Dad

Dear Dad ,

I want a house with 3 rooms : a bedroom , a dressing room , and a room for books where I can put a lazy boy chair and a coffee maker beside the book shelves .

I want to live on my own how lovely would that be ! coming home late , ordering a pizza on my way up to the apartment , switching the AC on until I take a lovely luxurious shower . Then I would take my hot cheese lover pizza and eat in front of the TV !

No Noises , no one asking me not to walk bare foot , no one judging how I eat .

If only I can have that kind of Independence , I would invite my friends when I want , and hide from the world when I want .


And I wish I could get married and not live with my husband under the same roof , I just think that this kills any relationship . uhhh if only I can get married while he stays in an apartment of his own and I stay in mine ! I would be visiting him and sleeping over without doing any thing religiously forbidden but at the same time enjoying the halal dating experience .If only !

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Physically every woman can carry a child inside her for 9 months, spiritually, emotionally and mentally not every woman can be a MOTHER. Any woman can play with a small cute baby for a while but not every woman can RAISE a child. If you don`t see yourself as a mother don`t force yourself into motherhood, if you want to be a mother educate yourself about how to teach a child and what to teach him .A child is a soul that Allah will ask you about and your reply can`t be “I wasn`t good because I just had a child to please my mother in law! “Or “everyone thought I am sterile and were giving me hard time about it so I shut them up and I was too young to know what to do “ .

I don`t think that all girls want to be mothers , I just think that some of them don`t want that but are afraid to say it out loud . They just do what the society forces them to do .

No one seem to calculate the gravity of the situation anymore " people have children each day it isn`t a big deal " they say ,or " we are up to it " although they have no single idea about they are doing .

And then the woman gets pregnant and starts jumping all over the place the minute she knows . she vomits daily and looses her appetite and ability to do many things , yet her husband still wishes that she stays that sexy all dolled up woman he married , I don`t even know how that is possible when she can`t even see her own feet !

The child arrives in the couples' life and the real story begins ! not the one they had in their minds where they are playing with the cute little thing day and night , kissing him and taking him out , no the other life in which they are both sleep deprived, in which they are all the time scared of the fact that the baby might put something into his mouth or climb over something .

The woman now had 3 full time jobs : worrying about the baby , house chores , being Marline Monroe . and if she works they are 4 .


All the above pictures are things all couples choose not to think about , and some of them do think about these facts but they then think it will be easy to over come . I don`t know about that but for me motherhood is an extremely difficult task , it is a task that ends a woman`s life . she no longer exists after being a mother , she disappears into the lives of her children who will never be able to pay her back and as soon as they learn how to walk they will go away from her and their father , as soon as they go to school they will ask for privacy , as soon as they go to college and then to work they will ask for Independence , get married and then dissolve into their own lives , leaving the father and the mother again to each other bit this time they don`t recognize themselves any more.

 I want to be a mother after I live for a while , after I travel , work , shop , visit places , after I enjoy having no responsibilities to the max .

Dear dad

I was once a people`s person, I used to love talking to my friends and going out and family visits.

Now I hate all of that, it is like I have been replaced with someone else.

I have no idea why did I turn into that aggressive creature, what was the cause of my dramatic change?

I need to know so that I can go back to the old me . do you think I can go back or this is just an irreversible situation? Am I stuck with this horrible new me forever?

I just need answers daddy, and I need them now before my life collapses and turns into pieces

Dear dad

الناس كلها بتتكلم فى حوار التعدد ده , انا عارفه انه حلال و مش هنرغى فده لأنى أكيد مش هحرم الحلال و فى رجاله كتير جدا عايزه تتجوز اكتر من واحده

 مع احترامى للكل بس لا ضرر ولا ضرار مش كده ؟ لما يقدر يخلىّ المجتمع ميعاملش الزوجه الأولى على انها معرفتش تحافظ على جوزها و يعامل الزوجه التانيه على أنها خطافه رجاله يبقى يقول عايز اتجوز تانى لأن انا كده مش هتحمل غيره و بس انا هتحمل ناس بتعاملنى على انى ناقصه . و اصلا ستات كتير مطلقات و أرامل ميقبلوش يتجوزو متجوز عشان مش عايزين حد يقولهم انتو خطفتو الراجل من على مراته و اللىّ هيقولى نظره المجتمع مش مهمه يا ريت تفتكر كم البنات اللىّ بترضى باى راجل و السلام عشان متسمعش
كلمه عانس و غيرها تموت ولا تسمع مطلقه و كتير يستحملو اى حاجه و لا سمعو كلمه خطافه رجاله

ثم أنا بحس ان الراجل اللىّ عايز يتجوز تانى بيبقى دايما شايف ان التانيه اللىّ هيتجوزها دى فيها كل حاجه مش فى الاولى و بينسى أن فيه عيوب موجوده فى الستات كلها هوّ هيخليها الطاق طاقين !

كل الرجاله بتشتكى ان الستات بتعيّط من غير سبب منتا كده هيبقى عندك أتنين بيعيطو من غير سبب ! و اتنين بيسألوك روحت فين و جيت منين مش هتبقى هارون الرشيد قوى زى منتا فاكر .

كل راع و كل مسؤل عن راعيته كده يا حلو هاتتحاسب على اتنين :)

فى بقى ستات حلها الوحيد أن الراجل يتجوز عليها ! مش عشان سنه و حلال و حرام لأ عشان يكسرها و يعدلها لأن فعلا فيه ستات متجيش غير بكده !

و فيه رجاله برضو لازم تتجوز واحده تانيه عشان تعرف قيمه الأولانيه !

Dear dad

أنا البنت الوحيده تقريبا اللىّ هننخطب لشخص بتحبه و عيزاه و مع ذلك مش طايقه يوم الخطوبه من قبل ميجى

بفكر فى اليوم بحس بخنقه رهيبه بشعه بحس أنى ممكن فى نص اليوم أسب الناس و أقوم أنهار عياط مثلا أو ازعق فى الناس كلها أقولهم أطلعو بره !

مكنتش عايزه حفله و لا عايزه أنى ألبس فستان و كنت عايزه أعمل الخطوبه فى تاريخ على مزاجى انا عارفه ان كل الناس بتقول ان المناسبه هىّ اللىّ بتعمل لازمه للتاريخ مع أن انا مش حاسه كده

كان نفسى أعملها يوم راس السنه مثلا أو يوم تاريخه يكون على مزاجى

من الأخر كان نفسى كل حاجه فى اليوم تبقى على مزاجى العروسه المفروض تقول هىّ عايزه ايه و يتعملها ده اللىّ أنا اعرفه لكن طلع اللىّ أنا اعرفه ده غلط و فى الأخر الكل مبسوط ألا أنا

هحاول أفكر أن انا مكبره الموضوع و أبسّط الدنيا و أكتب اللىّ انا نفسى فيه و أحلم بيه بدل ماحاول أحققه

thoughts

لو بنفكر ف" هنربى العيال أزاى " أكتر من " هنربيهم منين " بيتهألى كان حالنا بقى أفضل . بس كل و احده فالحه تشوف عيلّ صغير تبقى هتموت و تخلف على أساس ان العيال زيهم زىّ العروسه اللعبه هتلعب بيها شويه و ترجعها تانى ! و كل راجل يقولك مش دى اللىّ هتبقى أم عيالى على أساس أن هىّ لوحدها هتبقى أم و البيه هيبقى أب بارت تايم. مش كل ولد و بنت ينفعو و يقدرو يبقو أب و أم و مش كلهم لازم يعوزو يبقو أب و أم . لازم نبطل نتجوز و نخلف عشان لازم نعمل كده , الجواز و الخلفه لازملهم رغبه مختلفه تماما و بعيده عن العادات و التقاليد و اللىّ يصح و ميصحش .

Thought

Girls around the world dream of their wedding day, but girls in Egypt dream about the only day in their lives that separates between the cage they are living in with their parents and the jail called marriage life. Ironically they think that this one night will make them feel like queens! Like they can demand and get what they want, stupid Egyptian girls they still did not learn that marriage in Egypt is about the family and the guests!

عن مجتمعنا و سنينه السوده ( الجواز )

الجواز فى مصر حاجه اقشل من الفشل نفسه . كل الناس ليها حق تدخل ألا الاتنين اللىّ هيتجوزو و لا أكن ليهم كلمه طبعا عشان هما مش فاهمين حاجه و مش عارفن مصلحتم .

زى ميكون اتفاق بين كل الأهالى انهم يحّولو فتره الخطوبه دى من اللون البمبى الى اللون الأسود على اعتبار أن الجواز منيل و أديهم بيعودونا على اللون الاسود قبل منعيش فيه

و طبعا و كالعاده البنت من اكتر الناس المسحوله فى الحوار ده . البنت فى مصر بتعيش مع اهلها فى البيت اللىّ هوا بيت ابوها و طول ماهى عايشه فيه مغصوبه على حجات هىّ مش عايزاها على امل يعينى انها يوم من الايام هيبقى ليها بيت تعمل فيه اللىّ هىّ عيزاه . تكتشف طبعا بعد الجواز ان البيت اللىّ هىّ راحتله ده أسمه بيت جوزها و حمتها معتبراه بيت ابنها يعنى البنت من الاخر بتعيش و تموت عاله على حد !

احساس بشع أن البنت أكنها عبده عند اهلها بورقه اسمها شهادة الميلاد و بعدين جوزها يشتريها بورقه أسمها عقد الجواز !
و تعيش طول عمرها عشان تتجوز و بعدين تعيش عشان تخلف و بعدين تعيش عشان تربى العيال و لا أكن ليها حق أنها تعيش عشان نفسها

 أنا واثقه ان ده كله بسبب مجتمعنا الغبى أكيد أكيد ربنا مش عايزنا نحس كده

Dear Dad

Dear dad,

I think I am loosing me in the crowd, I am loosing me between thoughts and ideas, between people and what they want.

I am lost in my dreams.

How can I find a ground to stand on when everything is moving so fast and in various directions, actually in opposite directions!

I know I am probably one of the craziest girls on planet earth and sometimes I think I am a genius which in fact is only a proof that I am crazy! But I have no idea how I can cure that. Do you think that I can be cured?

To be honest with you daddy I do not want to be cured , I have spent all my life hating myself but now I was able to love me , every part of  me even the crazy parts , or actually especially the crazy parts of me .

I don`t know why  ppl insist on changing me, the insist of making me feel as a puppet hanged with threads in their hands .

Everything I say is always weird to everybody else.

I do not know if they are right or not, and I don`t care but what I am sure of is that I feel as if I am wearing a small dress while my size is large. I may look good form the outside but what is true is that I can`t even breathe or walk. I can`t be me and that hurts.

يعنى أيه بحبك ؟

بحبك يعنى مش مهم انى تعبانه معاك ده احسن مية مرة من أنى ابقى مرتاحه مع غيرك

بحبك يعنى فنص محنا بنتخانق أحس أنى عايزة أققوم أحضنك و أعيط

بحبك يعنى بغير عليك لو حلمت بواحدة غيرى أما لو بصيتلها بقى فده موضوع تانى  !

 

بحبك يعنى الهديه اللىّ تجيلى منك حتى لو محبتهاش و حتى لو مكنتش هجبها لو شفتها من لحظه مبتجبها بيبقى لا يمكن الاستغناء عنها 

بحبك يعنى لو اقدر أغير فيك حاجه هتبقى أنى أخليك تحبنى أكتر لكن مش هغير فيك أى حاجه تانيه أنت زى ما أنت كده بعبلك :)

بحبك يعنى لما أقولك أبعد عنى بيبقى قصدى خدنى فحضنك 

بحبك يعنى بتجنن عليك بس لما تزعق فيا بقبقى زى العيال الصغيرين خايفه و عايزة أعيط 

بحبك يعنى لو لابسه أحلى فستان فى الدنيا و كل الناس مبهورة بجمالى بس أنت مقلتليش أنى شكلى حلو أحس أنى لبسه شوال بطاطا مقطع ووشى ولا بليه الميكانيكى و هو طالع من تحت العربيه 

بحبك يعنى المأذون ده مظنش كان ممكن أفكر أروحله ألا لم أنت بقيت الحد اللى هيقعد قصادى و هو بيننا بيسألنى موافقه عليك ولا لأ

بحبك يعنى أخاف لما أصلى متصليش أنت كمان و أروح أنا الجنه و أنت مش معايا 

بحبك يعنى لو ماشيه جمبك و أحنا متخانقين و مش طيقاك و قابلنا واحده عينها عليك هنسى الخناقه و أتشعبط فى دراعك و لو عرفت أخبيك منها هخبيك 

بحبك يعنى حتى و انا بكرهك و على اخرى منك بحبك 

بحبك يعنى بيبقى نفسى احضنك و امسك ايدك بس خوفى انى ربنا يعاقبنى بأنى أخسرك بيخلينى أتقلى الله فيك و أستنى و أصبر لحد متبقى جوزى و بعدها أيدك دى هلزقها فأيدى بغرا ! 

 

أفكار مبعثره 2

حبى لك خارج عن نطاق العقل , فبالعقل انا اليمين و انت الشمال و لكن بالحب يمكن لهما ان يلتقيا اذا لم يستمرا فى خط مستقيم


و احب القراءه و أعلم أنك لا تهواها و لا اريدك ان تهواها و لكن كم أحب أن أجلس أنا أقرأ بينما تشاهد انت المباراه ثم انظر اليك من وراء الصفحات و ابتسم بينما تصرخ لتشجيع فريقك . كم أنت جميل و انت غاضب ! . و بينما أسرح مرة أخرى بين السطور ترتكز عيناك على و جهى السارح و أناملى تداعب شعرى , انا أتخيلك بطل القصه المجنون فى الحب الشجاع فى الحرب و أنت تتساءل أن كانت هناك اى أمرأه على وجه الارض أجمل منى . لا يهمنى أن تشاهد غير ما اشاهد و لكن يهمنى ان لا ترى عيناك سواى

أفكار مبعثره

جوايا كلام كتير قوى مش عارفه يطلع أزاى بس حاسه أنه لازم يطلع . عايزة أعمل ميت مليون حاجة فى نفس الوقت و أشتغل ميت حاجة مع انى شغلانه واحدة مش نافعه فيها !
و عايزة أستغل كل لحظة فحياتى لان فعلا بحب الحياه أو يمكن بخاف قوى من الموت . عمرى مفهمت ليه الناس عايزة تموت مستعدين قوى يعنى تقابلو ربنا ؟ عارفين هتقولوله ايه ؟ ولا يمكن أنا بس اللىّ عامله بلاوى و بقيت الناس واثقه قوى من أعمالها ؟ مظنش !
أزاى اققف اتحاسب عن كل كلمه و كل حركه عملتها ! الفكرة نفسها مرعبه مبيهونهاش عليا الا أنه رحيم و رحمته و سعت السماوات و الارض .

ام الدنيا

يعنى اية مصر ؟يعنى الصبح دينية مستهبلة و بليل مدنية مستعبطة
يعنى لازم المسلم يربى دقنه و المسلمة تلبس حجاب و المسيحى و المسيحية يلبسو صليب لحسن حد يتوه و لا حاجة!
يعنى بلد ليها 85 مليون رئيس و خد بالك مشاء الله كلهم صح و كلمهم لازم يتسمع
يعنى الاب و الام ميعلموش ولادهم أى حاجة و يخنقوهم و يفتكرو أنهم عارفين عنهم كل حاجة مع العلم انهم الحمد لله انهم عارفين العيال اساميهم اية و خد بالك العيال يفضلو فى بيت أبوهم لحد ميتجوزو أمال هنعمل زىّ الامريكان و لا أية ؟! لا العيال يفضلو مع أهلهم على أعتبار أن دة بيحميهم و بيخليهم يعيشو فى جو اسرى دافى
و من جهة الدفا الصراحة هو بيبقى دفا قوى قوى و لدرجة امه بيبقى حر و جهنم بس العيال لازم تستحمل عادى عشان يعرفو ان الجواز مسؤلية و ان كله خناق و نكد و ميسدقوش عبد الحليم ولا تامر لو قالو غير كدة
اة بمناسبت تامر أى حد بيسمع تامر هنتريق علية مش مهم الاغنية حلوة ولا لأ مش مهم أى حاجة
مصر هىّ الحضارة و التريخ اللىّ بنحفظة و نحطة فى الأمتحان
مصر يعنى فى ناس عايزة حكم اسلامى و ناس بتقول عليه اة عشان خيفين يتقال عليهم كفرة و دة معناة أنك مش لاقى تاكل بس يتطبق عليك حد السرقة و مش عارف تتجوز بس يتطبق عليك حد الزنا أنت فاكرها سايبة ولا أية ؟ لازم تصلى و تصوم و تحجب البنات و تربى دقن الولاد مش مهم يقتنعو لا لأ اقتناع اية و قلت ادب أية أنسى الكلام بتاع ربنا اللىّ بيحاسب و أفتكر أن دى الحرية أوعى تكون فاكر أن دة ضد حريتك لأ أبدا بيتهيألك
نسيت اققلك لو أنت مسيحى لزما و لابد تقول لأ للمادة التانية مش مهم تقتنع اسمع بس الكلام المادة التانية مضرة جدا للصحة و لو قلت نعم فى الستفتاء توب بقى
مصر يعنى أحنا مش زى الأجانب نحب و نصاحب الصحوبية حرام بس أنت لو سمتها أرتباط يبقى عداك العيب و بعدين برا بقى عندهم بوس و مسخرة هنا لأ هنا ممكن تتفرج على فيلم من اياهم على الكمبيوتر و ممكن انت و حبيبتاك تبوسو بعض و ممكن اكتر الله مش نيتك خير ؟ و محدش شافك ؟ و بتقول لصحابك أنت عمرك ملمستها ؟ يبقى أنت مية فل
خد بالك لو اى حاجة فى القداس او درس الدين لقيت فيها حاجة كدة و لا كدة أوعى تسأل أوعى تقول حد يقنعنى و أوعى تعارض تدخل النار و أوعى متروحش الكنسية و لا الجامع تانى تروح النار و أوعى تكون مش بتحب الحوينى و محمد حساّن حرام عليك تروح النار بص من الاخر مهما كان دينتك نت رايح النار بس أوعى تعمل ذنوب لتروح النار بردو
خدبالك كانا عايزين نحرر فلسطين و كلنا مستعدين نموت عشانها حتى لو كانت علاقتك بالقضيق الفلسطنية لا تتعدى أغنية فيروز
قبل منسى علاء الاسوانى وحش اصل روياته سافلة قوى كل الشيوخ و الاخوان بيقولو كدة متحولش تعرف عرفو منين و لا تسئل طب لما لقو أول رواية مش عجباهم قرو التانية لية كل دة مش مهم المهم متجبش روياتة و لو عايز تعرف قال اية فى القصة أسأل اى حد الشعب كلة عارف !!
لازم تقول بكرة مبارك و لو بتحبه قلها بصوت واطى و لو عايزتنضم لأنا أسف يا ريسّ أعمل اكونت من غير أسم لحس تلاقى صحابك بعدو عنك أكنك جربان

خد بالك لازم تتجوز مش مهم عايز ولا لأ و مش مهم مستعد ولا لأ لازم تتجوز و خلاص لحن تنحرف و البنات تعنسّ و أوعى تتجوز واحدة مشيت معاها و لا عرفتها من على النت بس ممكن تكدب و تقول للحاجة انك شفتها فى الشارع و بقالك 20 سنه بتمشى وراها و تعاكسها لحد متأكدت من أخلاقها
أعذرونى لو كلامى مش عجبكو أو العربى بتاعى ركيك و مكسر أصلى لازم أكتب عربى مهو الفرانكو بقى ضد الهوية اللغوية (أوعى حد يسئل يعنى أيه هوية لغوية أحسن ياخد دش ساقع قوى عن الشباب الضايع اللى مش عارف عربى )

و أتبع السيئه الحسنة تمحها

الجملة دى أى حد يشوفها هيعرف قدايه ربنا رحيم  لما قريتها و فهمتها أول مرة قلت ايه الجمال و الرحمة دى , بقى انا اعك الدنيا و بعدين اعمل حاج حلوة تقوم دى تمسح دى !  حاجة بجد جميله

بس عشان الأنسان غبى و بينسى قوى نسيت أن مفيش حاجة ابدا حلوه او ليها أى لازمة بتبقى سهله

تخيل بقى لما اللّى خلقك يعوز يعلمك حاجة مين أحسن منه يعلمك؟مين غيره اصلا يعرف اية اكنتر حاجة هتعلم على قفالك ؟ :)

ربنا ديما بيحاول يورينا ان الذنوب غلط عشان هىّ بجد مضرة .مضره فى طبعها و مضرة كمان عشان بتغضبه و لما قلنا لما تعمل الغلط اعمل و راه الصح كان عايز يقلنا ده لو تقدرو ! و طبعا مش هنقدر

مشكلة الذنوب انها عاملة زى الأكله الدسمه اللّى بتوجع البطن بعدها , انت لو كلت حاجة تقيلة و قمت عملت رياضة هتحرقها بس السؤال بقى هوّ انت بعد الاكله الجامدة تقدر تقوم تمشى حتى؟ و لا حتى بعد الذنب الكبير

الوحد لو ضميرة صاحى يبفضل يأنبه بعد الغلط و يخلية لا عارف يعمل حاجة حلوة و لا بيستمتع بالغلط دة

و لو معندوش تأنيب ضمير اصلا بيبقى عايش ميت و مش حاسس انه انسان كويس اصلا عشان يعمل الصح و يصلح بيه الغلط بيبقى حاسس انها بايظة بايظة

ممكن اكون انا لوحدى اللّى حاسة كدة و ممكن يكون فى حد حاسس زىّ الله اعلم :) بس الايه دى حلوتها فى سهولتها الصعبة

سطور

السطور الجاية دى ممكن ميكنش ليها علاقة ببعض و ممكن يكون ليها مش عارفة :)
عامة انا مكتبتهمش مع بعض :)


 الراجل اللّى بيحب بجد لو حصل بينه و بين حبيبته مشكله بيحاول يحلها و يصالحها , بس عشان هو راجل و مفيش ولا راجل فاهم الستات
بيكون بيصالحها على مشكلة تانية خالص غير اللّى هىّ زعلانه منها

الحب بجد أنك تحب العيوب , المزايا كل الناس بتحبها لكن انك تحب عيوب حد و تشوف انها جزء منه وانه من غير الجزء دة شخص تانى تبقى بجد حبيته 

اجمل ما فى ابتسامتك انها تعنى انى نجحت فى ان انسيك همك للحظات و اجمل ما فى ضحكتك انها تنسينى الدنيا بما فيها 

احببتك لأنك رأيت فى نفسى ما لم يراه احدا غيرك , و أحببت فى شخصيتى ما سماه الناس عيوب , و رأيت فى جنونى عين العقل !

A proposal (2)

"Life is infinitely stranger than anything the mind could invent."she thought " anything can happen , any surprise can take place " she said to herself " but never to me !! never in my life did i witness a surprise , a revolution , everything just went smoothly "
she murmured while preparing the food for her husband and kids " my marriage was arranged , i finished college , i got engaged one year later i am a Mrs and now i am 28 with 2 kids , perfect life , boringly perfect "

she finished lunch and was on her way to her room where she noticed the calender hanged on the kitchen`s wall " tomorrow is my birthday !! oh God i forgot about that , how can some one forget his won birthday " she asked " oh yes they forget if it is the same every year same cake same people same songs only one more candle"

her husband came home just on time , he was never late even one minute he never left her thinking or wondering where he was."where are the children ?" he asked " they should be here any minute the bus is on its way it is never late " she answered.

she had lunch with her husband and children who are never late and then later the same day they had diner at the same time they do ever day also never day .


next day they all woke up on time the husband went to his work , the children to her school , and she started cleaning the house that gets cleaned every day ad is practically spotless.her husband called from work the same time he calls every day , never late , he assured her that he is going to pick up the cake and invite the regular guests who always show at the same time and who are never late.

she finished everything that has to be done and went upstairs to change her clothes before the guests start to show up. she didn`t want to be late .

" all my clothes are the same , same style , same colors , i don`t ever change my style i am always afraid to do so." she took her shower and started to get ready . "what if he was`t my husband would i have had a different life .. may be know one knows" she went down stairs every thing is exactly like the year before and sure the year after.

she coulnd`t believe what she saw when she went to the kitchen thinking that she will find her husband and family never late never changing.but she saw something really really much more better.

she saw her husband on the floor with a small box in his hands and no one there except him in the middle of the kitchen . the table is gone the most of the dishes and silver ware the kitchen seemed really bare with only him in the middle.

" i know you didn`t pick me or choose to marry me , i know you could have married and one and it wouldn`t have made any difference i know every thing in our life is boring and the same but guess what deep it inside me it is not the same , don`t think i don`t see you or i don`t appreciate what you do to me every single day, i love that you iron ever single shirt of mine and u chose my outfit every day , i love that you keep the house that clean and tidy , i love how you tell our kids bed time story and u imitate voices , yes i do hear you and i don`t sleep until the story is finished, i love you and i didn`t say it thinking the time passed and it is late thinking you woun`t believe me , thinking it is really strange to say it to u for the first time now after being married for nearly 8 years , but i was wrong and now i have to ask you this do me a favor and marry me could you please marry me all over again?"

she stood still for so long that she lost track of time she didn`t know a minute or an hour passed he had to say something to break the silence " i know when u think about our life together u feel that u don`t want to have it all over again , and u wish you can go back in time and change everything but for me these were the best years of my life and please give me an answer before the kids come and see their father like that , the will think that either i lost my mind or the we were not married all these years :D "

she smiled softly and then sat on her knees in front of him on the kitchen`s floor and said "i have always dreamed of a proposal like those i see in the movies and i never imagined i could have one" " yes .. yes i will marry you all over again not because anything that happened in our lives before but i will marry you again because of this , because you see me and because from now on i believe nothing will be the same. and guess what i love you too but i thought if i said it i will be silly and i was afraid that u might not love me back."

" you are silly to think that :) now i know i am late in so many things but better late that never right ?"
" yes " she said

" ok i want you to put on this ring and go upstairs and look under the bed "

" the ring looks beautiful" she wears it , he kiss her hands and she goes upstairs while he followed.
"what could possible be under the bed " she thought

she saw a huge box, she pulled it from under the bed and slowly opened it while he is leaning at the door waiting for her reaction.and in the box lies the most beautiful wedding dress she ever saw.

she looks at him with eyes filled with tears. he comes closer holds her hands and he says " i will never forget that u didn`t wear white dress and u never had a wedding because i wad too poor to afford one , you didn`t know anything about me back then but you said it doesn`t matter , you said we have to save to start a better life , and for that i loved you . for that i promised my self that the moment i have money i will make it up to u coz u deserve it "

she hugged him and kissed him on the cheek." go put it on and i will start the music " he said

" ok i will "
" honey , forgive me for being late " he said
" if being late will be that perfect then please always be late " she replied

A letter to GOD

Dear GOD,

you gave me eyes i used them 2 read nonsense and see ppl instead of reading your holy book & seeing your blessings,

you gave me ears i listened 2 love words &songs instead of listening 2 your miracles,

you gave me legs i used them 2 go out instead of standing up&praying all night,

you gave me voice i used it 2 speak sins instead of thanking you and talking about your mercy,

you gave me hands i used them 4 holding things that are nt mine instead of raising them with prayers ,

you gave me money i used it on shopping instead of using them to help poor people,

and now i am so afraid to meet u because i know i have nothing to say , i can`t say i had no time because you gave me that too and i spent it liking and commenting and watching tv , doing all sorts of stuff anything that does not involve YOU

what i am going to tell u and u know everything i can`t lie, the world consumed me although i know this earth is just a place where we come to go !!

i know satin does not want me to do any good yet i follow him is there any one as stupid as me ? ah yea there is my fellow humans !!!


BUT i know your door is always open i know that for sure , i know that like i know my own sins ,

this will not be the case from now on every sin must have something good to balance it untill one day the good over comes!!!


those sinful hands will pray , help the poor and help my mother at home after every time they hold something that YOU won`t approve of !!

those sinful ears will listen to holly chapter after every time they hear a song !!

those pound YOU send me , for every pound spent on luxries 2 will be spent on helping the poor !!

and i shall win every time satin does l!!!

i will get ready or die trying !!!! INSHAA ALAH !!

True love

they say when you are in love u don`t want to sleep beacuse reality is better than your dreams but i don`t agree.there are many ways that u can make sure you love is true.

it is true love when dreams are far more better than what you are living but u still want to keep on living , because the pain of reality more enjoyable than the joy of dreams.

it is true love when u see in the person u love things that no body else sees not because u know him better , but because when u look at him you are actually looking inside them , u see beyond his skin , u see his soul.

it is true love when after holding your lovers hand you start to realize that there are other things your hands can do , things that make your hand an organ directly connected with your heart by a fine thread called your soul

it is true love when the person that sheds your tears is the only one who can wipe them away and any other person who tries just causes more tears and agony

it is true love when one person becomes the sun around which your world revolves

it is true love when you find a person that has everything you dream about but u still can`t leave the person you love and you realize your dreams were wrong and what u have now is right 

it is true love when u hope you lover messes everything and then comes asks for your forgivness so that you can forgive him over and over again

it is true love when you pepare conversations in your head hoping that you make you lover just smile

Love and relationships (1)

it takes u one minute or less to fall in love , to feel that the person in front of u is your soul mate. and i takes even less than that to end a relationship with someone. to take the decision of leaving. one minute , one situation , one action and everything is ruined !!

like when you are crying and your partner just laughs saying that you are being silly ! or like when u are really sick and hospitalized and you husband tells u it is nothing people do this surgery all the time and they don`t say they feel the pain you are talking about ! or when you are giving money for charity and your wife tells u this is just a waste of money.

at moments like this u know it , u know that this person is just your total and complete opposite. strange right ? but it happens all the time/

the same happens with marriage the thing that u love the most about your partner is the first thing u hate about him/her. if u love you husband because he reads a lot and knows everything about everything later u will accuse him of being too serious and he always leaves u for a book . if u love your wife because she is successful later u will accuse her of being away form her home and unable to do her jobs as a wife and that she is married to her work .

relationships are so strange and unpredictable.

love and relationships (3)

have you ever wondered which phase of a relationship is the best ? it is not when u are together , not engagement and of course not marriage :D 

the best part of any relation is the beginning the phase where you think not only about the person you have a crush on , but also about if he is thinking of you or not.

an amazing phase but no one appreciates it. people always think of what is going to happen next when they are finally together which is never as good as they imagine.

what i like the most about the first phase is the double talk. a boy can tell a girl many words that have more than one meaning and then leaves her to think about his intention.girls do the same but usually not by words they use action : a smile , a look even a missed call or adding the boy on her face book account just to let him know that he is among a huge number of other boys.

beginings are always full of promises and hopes and a huge power to change a lot of things