لو بنفكر ف" هنربى العيال أزاى " أكتر من " هنربيهم منين " بيتهألى كان حالنا بقى أفضل . بس كل و احده فالحه تشوف عيلّ صغير تبقى هتموت و تخلف على أساس ان العيال زيهم زىّ العروسه اللعبه هتلعب بيها شويه و ترجعها تانى ! و كل راجل يقولك مش دى اللىّ هتبقى أم عيالى على أساس أن هىّ لوحدها هتبقى أم و البيه هيبقى أب بارت تايم. مش كل ولد و بنت ينفعو و يقدرو يبقو أب و أم و مش كلهم لازم يعوزو يبقو أب و أم . لازم نبطل نتجوز و نخلف عشان لازم نعمل كده , الجواز و الخلفه لازملهم رغبه مختلفه تماما و بعيده عن العادات و التقاليد و اللىّ يصح و ميصحش .
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Thought
Girls around the world dream of their wedding day, but girls in Egypt dream about the only day in their lives that separates between the cage they are living in with their parents and the jail called marriage life. Ironically they think that this one night will make them feel like queens! Like they can demand and get what they want, stupid Egyptian girls they still did not learn that marriage in Egypt is about the family and the guests!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
عن مجتمعنا و سنينه السوده ( الجواز )
الجواز فى مصر حاجه اقشل من الفشل نفسه . كل الناس ليها حق تدخل ألا الاتنين اللىّ هيتجوزو و لا أكن ليهم كلمه طبعا عشان هما مش فاهمين حاجه و مش عارفن مصلحتم .
زى ميكون اتفاق بين كل الأهالى انهم يحّولو فتره الخطوبه دى من اللون البمبى الى اللون الأسود على اعتبار أن الجواز منيل و أديهم بيعودونا على اللون الاسود قبل منعيش فيه
و طبعا و كالعاده البنت من اكتر الناس المسحوله فى الحوار ده . البنت فى مصر بتعيش مع اهلها فى البيت اللىّ هوا بيت ابوها و طول ماهى عايشه فيه مغصوبه على حجات هىّ مش عايزاها على امل يعينى انها يوم من الايام هيبقى ليها بيت تعمل فيه اللىّ هىّ عيزاه . تكتشف طبعا بعد الجواز ان البيت اللىّ هىّ راحتله ده أسمه بيت جوزها و حمتها معتبراه بيت ابنها يعنى البنت من الاخر بتعيش و تموت عاله على حد !
احساس بشع أن البنت أكنها عبده عند اهلها بورقه اسمها شهادة الميلاد و بعدين جوزها يشتريها بورقه أسمها عقد الجواز !
و تعيش طول عمرها عشان تتجوز و بعدين تعيش عشان تخلف و بعدين تعيش عشان تربى العيال و لا أكن ليها حق أنها تعيش عشان نفسها
أنا واثقه ان ده كله بسبب مجتمعنا الغبى أكيد أكيد ربنا مش عايزنا نحس كده
زى ميكون اتفاق بين كل الأهالى انهم يحّولو فتره الخطوبه دى من اللون البمبى الى اللون الأسود على اعتبار أن الجواز منيل و أديهم بيعودونا على اللون الاسود قبل منعيش فيه
و طبعا و كالعاده البنت من اكتر الناس المسحوله فى الحوار ده . البنت فى مصر بتعيش مع اهلها فى البيت اللىّ هوا بيت ابوها و طول ماهى عايشه فيه مغصوبه على حجات هىّ مش عايزاها على امل يعينى انها يوم من الايام هيبقى ليها بيت تعمل فيه اللىّ هىّ عيزاه . تكتشف طبعا بعد الجواز ان البيت اللىّ هىّ راحتله ده أسمه بيت جوزها و حمتها معتبراه بيت ابنها يعنى البنت من الاخر بتعيش و تموت عاله على حد !
احساس بشع أن البنت أكنها عبده عند اهلها بورقه اسمها شهادة الميلاد و بعدين جوزها يشتريها بورقه أسمها عقد الجواز !
و تعيش طول عمرها عشان تتجوز و بعدين تعيش عشان تخلف و بعدين تعيش عشان تربى العيال و لا أكن ليها حق أنها تعيش عشان نفسها
أنا واثقه ان ده كله بسبب مجتمعنا الغبى أكيد أكيد ربنا مش عايزنا نحس كده
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Dear Dad
Dear dad,
I think I am loosing me in the crowd, I am loosing me between thoughts and ideas, between people and what they want.
I am lost in my dreams.
How can I find a ground to stand on when everything is moving so fast and in various directions, actually in opposite directions!
I know I am probably one of the craziest girls on planet earth and sometimes I think I am a genius which in fact is only a proof that I am crazy! But I have no idea how I can cure that. Do you think that I can be cured?
To be honest with you daddy I do not want to be cured , I have spent all my life hating myself but now I was able to love me , every part of me even the crazy parts , or actually especially the crazy parts of me .
I don`t know why ppl insist on changing me, the insist of making me feel as a puppet hanged with threads in their hands .
Everything I say is always weird to everybody else.
I do not know if they are right or not, and I don`t care but what I am sure of is that I feel as if I am wearing a small dress while my size is large. I may look good form the outside but what is true is that I can`t even breathe or walk. I can`t be me and that hurts.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
يعنى أيه بحبك ؟
بحبك يعنى مش مهم انى تعبانه معاك ده احسن مية مرة من أنى ابقى مرتاحه مع غيرك
بحبك يعنى فنص محنا بنتخانق أحس أنى عايزة أققوم أحضنك و أعيط
بحبك يعنى بغير عليك لو حلمت بواحدة غيرى أما لو بصيتلها بقى فده موضوع تانى !
بحبك يعنى الهديه اللىّ تجيلى منك حتى لو محبتهاش و حتى لو مكنتش هجبها لو شفتها من لحظه مبتجبها بيبقى لا يمكن الاستغناء عنها
بحبك يعنى لو اقدر أغير فيك حاجه هتبقى أنى أخليك تحبنى أكتر لكن مش هغير فيك أى حاجه تانيه أنت زى ما أنت كده بعبلك :)
بحبك يعنى لما أقولك أبعد عنى بيبقى قصدى خدنى فحضنك
بحبك يعنى بتجنن عليك بس لما تزعق فيا بقبقى زى العيال الصغيرين خايفه و عايزة أعيط
بحبك يعنى لو لابسه أحلى فستان فى الدنيا و كل الناس مبهورة بجمالى بس أنت مقلتليش أنى شكلى حلو أحس أنى لبسه شوال بطاطا مقطع ووشى ولا بليه الميكانيكى و هو طالع من تحت العربيه
بحبك يعنى المأذون ده مظنش كان ممكن أفكر أروحله ألا لم أنت بقيت الحد اللى هيقعد قصادى و هو بيننا بيسألنى موافقه عليك ولا لأ
بحبك يعنى أخاف لما أصلى متصليش أنت كمان و أروح أنا الجنه و أنت مش معايا
بحبك يعنى لو ماشيه جمبك و أحنا متخانقين و مش طيقاك و قابلنا واحده عينها عليك هنسى الخناقه و أتشعبط فى دراعك و لو عرفت أخبيك منها هخبيك
بحبك يعنى حتى و انا بكرهك و على اخرى منك بحبك
بحبك يعنى بيبقى نفسى احضنك و امسك ايدك بس خوفى انى ربنا يعاقبنى بأنى أخسرك بيخلينى أتقلى الله فيك و أستنى و أصبر لحد متبقى جوزى و بعدها أيدك دى هلزقها فأيدى بغرا !
أفكار مبعثره 2
حبى لك خارج عن نطاق العقل , فبالعقل انا اليمين و انت الشمال و لكن بالحب يمكن لهما ان يلتقيا اذا لم يستمرا فى خط مستقيم
و احب القراءه و أعلم أنك لا تهواها و لا اريدك ان تهواها و لكن كم أحب أن أجلس أنا أقرأ بينما تشاهد انت المباراه ثم انظر اليك من وراء الصفحات و ابتسم بينما تصرخ لتشجيع فريقك . كم أنت جميل و انت غاضب ! . و بينما أسرح مرة أخرى بين السطور ترتكز عيناك على و جهى السارح و أناملى تداعب شعرى , انا أتخيلك بطل القصه المجنون فى الحب الشجاع فى الحرب و أنت تتساءل أن كانت هناك اى أمرأه على وجه الارض أجمل منى . لا يهمنى أن تشاهد غير ما اشاهد و لكن يهمنى ان لا ترى عيناك سواى
Friday, November 4, 2011
أفكار مبعثره
جوايا كلام كتير قوى مش عارفه يطلع أزاى بس حاسه أنه لازم يطلع . عايزة أعمل ميت مليون حاجة فى نفس الوقت و أشتغل ميت حاجة مع انى شغلانه واحدة مش نافعه فيها !
و عايزة أستغل كل لحظة فحياتى لان فعلا بحب الحياه أو يمكن بخاف قوى من الموت . عمرى مفهمت ليه الناس عايزة تموت مستعدين قوى يعنى تقابلو ربنا ؟ عارفين هتقولوله ايه ؟ ولا يمكن أنا بس اللىّ عامله بلاوى و بقيت الناس واثقه قوى من أعمالها ؟ مظنش !
أزاى اققف اتحاسب عن كل كلمه و كل حركه عملتها ! الفكرة نفسها مرعبه مبيهونهاش عليا الا أنه رحيم و رحمته و سعت السماوات و الارض .
و عايزة أستغل كل لحظة فحياتى لان فعلا بحب الحياه أو يمكن بخاف قوى من الموت . عمرى مفهمت ليه الناس عايزة تموت مستعدين قوى يعنى تقابلو ربنا ؟ عارفين هتقولوله ايه ؟ ولا يمكن أنا بس اللىّ عامله بلاوى و بقيت الناس واثقه قوى من أعمالها ؟ مظنش !
أزاى اققف اتحاسب عن كل كلمه و كل حركه عملتها ! الفكرة نفسها مرعبه مبيهونهاش عليا الا أنه رحيم و رحمته و سعت السماوات و الارض .
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
ام الدنيا
يعنى اية مصر ؟يعنى الصبح دينية مستهبلة و بليل مدنية مستعبطة
يعنى لازم المسلم يربى دقنه و المسلمة تلبس حجاب و المسيحى و المسيحية يلبسو صليب لحسن حد يتوه و لا حاجة!
يعنى بلد ليها 85 مليون رئيس و خد بالك مشاء الله كلهم صح و كلمهم لازم يتسمع
يعنى الاب و الام ميعلموش ولادهم أى حاجة و يخنقوهم و يفتكرو أنهم عارفين عنهم كل حاجة مع العلم انهم الحمد لله انهم عارفين العيال اساميهم اية و خد بالك العيال يفضلو فى بيت أبوهم لحد ميتجوزو أمال هنعمل زىّ الامريكان و لا أية ؟! لا العيال يفضلو مع أهلهم على أعتبار أن دة بيحميهم و بيخليهم يعيشو فى جو اسرى دافى
و من جهة الدفا الصراحة هو بيبقى دفا قوى قوى و لدرجة امه بيبقى حر و جهنم بس العيال لازم تستحمل عادى عشان يعرفو ان الجواز مسؤلية و ان كله خناق و نكد و ميسدقوش عبد الحليم ولا تامر لو قالو غير كدة
اة بمناسبت تامر أى حد بيسمع تامر هنتريق علية مش مهم الاغنية حلوة ولا لأ مش مهم أى حاجة
مصر هىّ الحضارة و التريخ اللىّ بنحفظة و نحطة فى الأمتحان
مصر يعنى فى ناس عايزة حكم اسلامى و ناس بتقول عليه اة عشان خيفين يتقال عليهم كفرة و دة معناة أنك مش لاقى تاكل بس يتطبق عليك حد السرقة و مش عارف تتجوز بس يتطبق عليك حد الزنا أنت فاكرها سايبة ولا أية ؟ لازم تصلى و تصوم و تحجب البنات و تربى دقن الولاد مش مهم يقتنعو لا لأ اقتناع اية و قلت ادب أية أنسى الكلام بتاع ربنا اللىّ بيحاسب و أفتكر أن دى الحرية أوعى تكون فاكر أن دة ضد حريتك لأ أبدا بيتهيألك
نسيت اققلك لو أنت مسيحى لزما و لابد تقول لأ للمادة التانية مش مهم تقتنع اسمع بس الكلام المادة التانية مضرة جدا للصحة و لو قلت نعم فى الستفتاء توب بقى
مصر يعنى أحنا مش زى الأجانب نحب و نصاحب الصحوبية حرام بس أنت لو سمتها أرتباط يبقى عداك العيب و بعدين برا بقى عندهم بوس و مسخرة هنا لأ هنا ممكن تتفرج على فيلم من اياهم على الكمبيوتر و ممكن انت و حبيبتاك تبوسو بعض و ممكن اكتر الله مش نيتك خير ؟ و محدش شافك ؟ و بتقول لصحابك أنت عمرك ملمستها ؟ يبقى أنت مية فل
خد بالك لو اى حاجة فى القداس او درس الدين لقيت فيها حاجة كدة و لا كدة أوعى تسأل أوعى تقول حد يقنعنى و أوعى تعارض تدخل النار و أوعى متروحش الكنسية و لا الجامع تانى تروح النار و أوعى تكون مش بتحب الحوينى و محمد حساّن حرام عليك تروح النار بص من الاخر مهما كان دينتك نت رايح النار بس أوعى تعمل ذنوب لتروح النار بردو
خدبالك كانا عايزين نحرر فلسطين و كلنا مستعدين نموت عشانها حتى لو كانت علاقتك بالقضيق الفلسطنية لا تتعدى أغنية فيروز
قبل منسى علاء الاسوانى وحش اصل روياته سافلة قوى كل الشيوخ و الاخوان بيقولو كدة متحولش تعرف عرفو منين و لا تسئل طب لما لقو أول رواية مش عجباهم قرو التانية لية كل دة مش مهم المهم متجبش روياتة و لو عايز تعرف قال اية فى القصة أسأل اى حد الشعب كلة عارف !!
لازم تقول بكرة مبارك و لو بتحبه قلها بصوت واطى و لو عايزتنضم لأنا أسف يا ريسّ أعمل اكونت من غير أسم لحس تلاقى صحابك بعدو عنك أكنك جربان
خد بالك لازم تتجوز مش مهم عايز ولا لأ و مش مهم مستعد ولا لأ لازم تتجوز و خلاص لحن تنحرف و البنات تعنسّ و أوعى تتجوز واحدة مشيت معاها و لا عرفتها من على النت بس ممكن تكدب و تقول للحاجة انك شفتها فى الشارع و بقالك 20 سنه بتمشى وراها و تعاكسها لحد متأكدت من أخلاقها
أعذرونى لو كلامى مش عجبكو أو العربى بتاعى ركيك و مكسر أصلى لازم أكتب عربى مهو الفرانكو بقى ضد الهوية اللغوية (أوعى حد يسئل يعنى أيه هوية لغوية أحسن ياخد دش ساقع قوى عن الشباب الضايع اللى مش عارف عربى )
يعنى لازم المسلم يربى دقنه و المسلمة تلبس حجاب و المسيحى و المسيحية يلبسو صليب لحسن حد يتوه و لا حاجة!
يعنى بلد ليها 85 مليون رئيس و خد بالك مشاء الله كلهم صح و كلمهم لازم يتسمع
يعنى الاب و الام ميعلموش ولادهم أى حاجة و يخنقوهم و يفتكرو أنهم عارفين عنهم كل حاجة مع العلم انهم الحمد لله انهم عارفين العيال اساميهم اية و خد بالك العيال يفضلو فى بيت أبوهم لحد ميتجوزو أمال هنعمل زىّ الامريكان و لا أية ؟! لا العيال يفضلو مع أهلهم على أعتبار أن دة بيحميهم و بيخليهم يعيشو فى جو اسرى دافى
و من جهة الدفا الصراحة هو بيبقى دفا قوى قوى و لدرجة امه بيبقى حر و جهنم بس العيال لازم تستحمل عادى عشان يعرفو ان الجواز مسؤلية و ان كله خناق و نكد و ميسدقوش عبد الحليم ولا تامر لو قالو غير كدة
اة بمناسبت تامر أى حد بيسمع تامر هنتريق علية مش مهم الاغنية حلوة ولا لأ مش مهم أى حاجة
مصر هىّ الحضارة و التريخ اللىّ بنحفظة و نحطة فى الأمتحان
مصر يعنى فى ناس عايزة حكم اسلامى و ناس بتقول عليه اة عشان خيفين يتقال عليهم كفرة و دة معناة أنك مش لاقى تاكل بس يتطبق عليك حد السرقة و مش عارف تتجوز بس يتطبق عليك حد الزنا أنت فاكرها سايبة ولا أية ؟ لازم تصلى و تصوم و تحجب البنات و تربى دقن الولاد مش مهم يقتنعو لا لأ اقتناع اية و قلت ادب أية أنسى الكلام بتاع ربنا اللىّ بيحاسب و أفتكر أن دى الحرية أوعى تكون فاكر أن دة ضد حريتك لأ أبدا بيتهيألك
نسيت اققلك لو أنت مسيحى لزما و لابد تقول لأ للمادة التانية مش مهم تقتنع اسمع بس الكلام المادة التانية مضرة جدا للصحة و لو قلت نعم فى الستفتاء توب بقى
مصر يعنى أحنا مش زى الأجانب نحب و نصاحب الصحوبية حرام بس أنت لو سمتها أرتباط يبقى عداك العيب و بعدين برا بقى عندهم بوس و مسخرة هنا لأ هنا ممكن تتفرج على فيلم من اياهم على الكمبيوتر و ممكن انت و حبيبتاك تبوسو بعض و ممكن اكتر الله مش نيتك خير ؟ و محدش شافك ؟ و بتقول لصحابك أنت عمرك ملمستها ؟ يبقى أنت مية فل
خد بالك لو اى حاجة فى القداس او درس الدين لقيت فيها حاجة كدة و لا كدة أوعى تسأل أوعى تقول حد يقنعنى و أوعى تعارض تدخل النار و أوعى متروحش الكنسية و لا الجامع تانى تروح النار و أوعى تكون مش بتحب الحوينى و محمد حساّن حرام عليك تروح النار بص من الاخر مهما كان دينتك نت رايح النار بس أوعى تعمل ذنوب لتروح النار بردو
خدبالك كانا عايزين نحرر فلسطين و كلنا مستعدين نموت عشانها حتى لو كانت علاقتك بالقضيق الفلسطنية لا تتعدى أغنية فيروز
قبل منسى علاء الاسوانى وحش اصل روياته سافلة قوى كل الشيوخ و الاخوان بيقولو كدة متحولش تعرف عرفو منين و لا تسئل طب لما لقو أول رواية مش عجباهم قرو التانية لية كل دة مش مهم المهم متجبش روياتة و لو عايز تعرف قال اية فى القصة أسأل اى حد الشعب كلة عارف !!
لازم تقول بكرة مبارك و لو بتحبه قلها بصوت واطى و لو عايزتنضم لأنا أسف يا ريسّ أعمل اكونت من غير أسم لحس تلاقى صحابك بعدو عنك أكنك جربان
خد بالك لازم تتجوز مش مهم عايز ولا لأ و مش مهم مستعد ولا لأ لازم تتجوز و خلاص لحن تنحرف و البنات تعنسّ و أوعى تتجوز واحدة مشيت معاها و لا عرفتها من على النت بس ممكن تكدب و تقول للحاجة انك شفتها فى الشارع و بقالك 20 سنه بتمشى وراها و تعاكسها لحد متأكدت من أخلاقها
أعذرونى لو كلامى مش عجبكو أو العربى بتاعى ركيك و مكسر أصلى لازم أكتب عربى مهو الفرانكو بقى ضد الهوية اللغوية (أوعى حد يسئل يعنى أيه هوية لغوية أحسن ياخد دش ساقع قوى عن الشباب الضايع اللى مش عارف عربى )
Monday, June 6, 2011
و أتبع السيئه الحسنة تمحها
الجملة دى أى حد يشوفها هيعرف قدايه ربنا رحيم لما قريتها و فهمتها أول مرة قلت ايه الجمال و الرحمة دى , بقى انا اعك الدنيا و بعدين اعمل حاج حلوة تقوم دى تمسح دى ! حاجة بجد جميله
بس عشان الأنسان غبى و بينسى قوى نسيت أن مفيش حاجة ابدا حلوه او ليها أى لازمة بتبقى سهله
تخيل بقى لما اللّى خلقك يعوز يعلمك حاجة مين أحسن منه يعلمك؟مين غيره اصلا يعرف اية اكنتر حاجة هتعلم على قفالك ؟ :)
ربنا ديما بيحاول يورينا ان الذنوب غلط عشان هىّ بجد مضرة .مضره فى طبعها و مضرة كمان عشان بتغضبه و لما قلنا لما تعمل الغلط اعمل و راه الصح كان عايز يقلنا ده لو تقدرو ! و طبعا مش هنقدر
مشكلة الذنوب انها عاملة زى الأكله الدسمه اللّى بتوجع البطن بعدها , انت لو كلت حاجة تقيلة و قمت عملت رياضة هتحرقها بس السؤال بقى هوّ انت بعد الاكله الجامدة تقدر تقوم تمشى حتى؟ و لا حتى بعد الذنب الكبير
الوحد لو ضميرة صاحى يبفضل يأنبه بعد الغلط و يخلية لا عارف يعمل حاجة حلوة و لا بيستمتع بالغلط دة
و لو معندوش تأنيب ضمير اصلا بيبقى عايش ميت و مش حاسس انه انسان كويس اصلا عشان يعمل الصح و يصلح بيه الغلط بيبقى حاسس انها بايظة بايظة
ممكن اكون انا لوحدى اللّى حاسة كدة و ممكن يكون فى حد حاسس زىّ الله اعلم :) بس الايه دى حلوتها فى سهولتها الصعبة
بس عشان الأنسان غبى و بينسى قوى نسيت أن مفيش حاجة ابدا حلوه او ليها أى لازمة بتبقى سهله
تخيل بقى لما اللّى خلقك يعوز يعلمك حاجة مين أحسن منه يعلمك؟مين غيره اصلا يعرف اية اكنتر حاجة هتعلم على قفالك ؟ :)
ربنا ديما بيحاول يورينا ان الذنوب غلط عشان هىّ بجد مضرة .مضره فى طبعها و مضرة كمان عشان بتغضبه و لما قلنا لما تعمل الغلط اعمل و راه الصح كان عايز يقلنا ده لو تقدرو ! و طبعا مش هنقدر
مشكلة الذنوب انها عاملة زى الأكله الدسمه اللّى بتوجع البطن بعدها , انت لو كلت حاجة تقيلة و قمت عملت رياضة هتحرقها بس السؤال بقى هوّ انت بعد الاكله الجامدة تقدر تقوم تمشى حتى؟ و لا حتى بعد الذنب الكبير
الوحد لو ضميرة صاحى يبفضل يأنبه بعد الغلط و يخلية لا عارف يعمل حاجة حلوة و لا بيستمتع بالغلط دة
و لو معندوش تأنيب ضمير اصلا بيبقى عايش ميت و مش حاسس انه انسان كويس اصلا عشان يعمل الصح و يصلح بيه الغلط بيبقى حاسس انها بايظة بايظة
ممكن اكون انا لوحدى اللّى حاسة كدة و ممكن يكون فى حد حاسس زىّ الله اعلم :) بس الايه دى حلوتها فى سهولتها الصعبة
Sunday, June 5, 2011
سطور
السطور الجاية دى ممكن ميكنش ليها علاقة ببعض و ممكن يكون ليها مش عارفة :)
عامة انا مكتبتهمش مع بعض :)
الراجل اللّى بيحب بجد لو حصل بينه و بين حبيبته مشكله بيحاول يحلها و يصالحها , بس عشان هو راجل و مفيش ولا راجل فاهم الستات
بيكون بيصالحها على مشكلة تانية خالص غير اللّى هىّ زعلانه منها
عامة انا مكتبتهمش مع بعض :)
الراجل اللّى بيحب بجد لو حصل بينه و بين حبيبته مشكله بيحاول يحلها و يصالحها , بس عشان هو راجل و مفيش ولا راجل فاهم الستات
بيكون بيصالحها على مشكلة تانية خالص غير اللّى هىّ زعلانه منها
اجمل ما فى ابتسامتك انها تعنى انى نجحت فى ان انسيك همك للحظات و اجمل ما فى ضحكتك انها تنسينى الدنيا بما فيها
احببتك لأنك رأيت فى نفسى ما لم يراه احدا غيرك , و أحببت فى شخصيتى ما سماه الناس عيوب , و رأيت فى جنونى عين العقل !
A proposal (2)
"Life is infinitely stranger than anything the mind could invent."she thought " anything can happen , any surprise can take place " she said to herself " but never to me !! never in my life did i witness a surprise , a revolution , everything just went smoothly "
she murmured while preparing the food for her husband and kids " my marriage was arranged , i finished college , i got engaged one year later i am a Mrs and now i am 28 with 2 kids , perfect life , boringly perfect "
she finished lunch and was on her way to her room where she noticed the calender hanged on the kitchen`s wall " tomorrow is my birthday !! oh God i forgot about that , how can some one forget his won birthday " she asked " oh yes they forget if it is the same every year same cake same people same songs only one more candle"
her husband came home just on time , he was never late even one minute he never left her thinking or wondering where he was."where are the children ?" he asked " they should be here any minute the bus is on its way it is never late " she answered.
she had lunch with her husband and children who are never late and then later the same day they had diner at the same time they do ever day also never day .
next day they all woke up on time the husband went to his work , the children to her school , and she started cleaning the house that gets cleaned every day ad is practically spotless.her husband called from work the same time he calls every day , never late , he assured her that he is going to pick up the cake and invite the regular guests who always show at the same time and who are never late.
she finished everything that has to be done and went upstairs to change her clothes before the guests start to show up. she didn`t want to be late .
" all my clothes are the same , same style , same colors , i don`t ever change my style i am always afraid to do so." she took her shower and started to get ready . "what if he was`t my husband would i have had a different life .. may be know one knows" she went down stairs every thing is exactly like the year before and sure the year after.
she coulnd`t believe what she saw when she went to the kitchen thinking that she will find her husband and family never late never changing.but she saw something really really much more better.
she saw her husband on the floor with a small box in his hands and no one there except him in the middle of the kitchen . the table is gone the most of the dishes and silver ware the kitchen seemed really bare with only him in the middle.
" i know you didn`t pick me or choose to marry me , i know you could have married and one and it wouldn`t have made any difference i know every thing in our life is boring and the same but guess what deep it inside me it is not the same , don`t think i don`t see you or i don`t appreciate what you do to me every single day, i love that you iron ever single shirt of mine and u chose my outfit every day , i love that you keep the house that clean and tidy , i love how you tell our kids bed time story and u imitate voices , yes i do hear you and i don`t sleep until the story is finished, i love you and i didn`t say it thinking the time passed and it is late thinking you woun`t believe me , thinking it is really strange to say it to u for the first time now after being married for nearly 8 years , but i was wrong and now i have to ask you this do me a favor and marry me could you please marry me all over again?"
she stood still for so long that she lost track of time she didn`t know a minute or an hour passed he had to say something to break the silence " i know when u think about our life together u feel that u don`t want to have it all over again , and u wish you can go back in time and change everything but for me these were the best years of my life and please give me an answer before the kids come and see their father like that , the will think that either i lost my mind or the we were not married all these years :D "
she smiled softly and then sat on her knees in front of him on the kitchen`s floor and said "i have always dreamed of a proposal like those i see in the movies and i never imagined i could have one" " yes .. yes i will marry you all over again not because anything that happened in our lives before but i will marry you again because of this , because you see me and because from now on i believe nothing will be the same. and guess what i love you too but i thought if i said it i will be silly and i was afraid that u might not love me back."
" you are silly to think that :) now i know i am late in so many things but better late that never right ?"
" yes " she said
" ok i want you to put on this ring and go upstairs and look under the bed "
" the ring looks beautiful" she wears it , he kiss her hands and she goes upstairs while he followed.
"what could possible be under the bed " she thought
she saw a huge box, she pulled it from under the bed and slowly opened it while he is leaning at the door waiting for her reaction.and in the box lies the most beautiful wedding dress she ever saw.
she looks at him with eyes filled with tears. he comes closer holds her hands and he says " i will never forget that u didn`t wear white dress and u never had a wedding because i wad too poor to afford one , you didn`t know anything about me back then but you said it doesn`t matter , you said we have to save to start a better life , and for that i loved you . for that i promised my self that the moment i have money i will make it up to u coz u deserve it "
she hugged him and kissed him on the cheek." go put it on and i will start the music " he said
" ok i will "
" honey , forgive me for being late " he said
" if being late will be that perfect then please always be late " she replied
she murmured while preparing the food for her husband and kids " my marriage was arranged , i finished college , i got engaged one year later i am a Mrs and now i am 28 with 2 kids , perfect life , boringly perfect "
she finished lunch and was on her way to her room where she noticed the calender hanged on the kitchen`s wall " tomorrow is my birthday !! oh God i forgot about that , how can some one forget his won birthday " she asked " oh yes they forget if it is the same every year same cake same people same songs only one more candle"
her husband came home just on time , he was never late even one minute he never left her thinking or wondering where he was."where are the children ?" he asked " they should be here any minute the bus is on its way it is never late " she answered.
she had lunch with her husband and children who are never late and then later the same day they had diner at the same time they do ever day also never day .
next day they all woke up on time the husband went to his work , the children to her school , and she started cleaning the house that gets cleaned every day ad is practically spotless.her husband called from work the same time he calls every day , never late , he assured her that he is going to pick up the cake and invite the regular guests who always show at the same time and who are never late.
she finished everything that has to be done and went upstairs to change her clothes before the guests start to show up. she didn`t want to be late .
" all my clothes are the same , same style , same colors , i don`t ever change my style i am always afraid to do so." she took her shower and started to get ready . "what if he was`t my husband would i have had a different life .. may be know one knows" she went down stairs every thing is exactly like the year before and sure the year after.
she coulnd`t believe what she saw when she went to the kitchen thinking that she will find her husband and family never late never changing.but she saw something really really much more better.
she saw her husband on the floor with a small box in his hands and no one there except him in the middle of the kitchen . the table is gone the most of the dishes and silver ware the kitchen seemed really bare with only him in the middle.
" i know you didn`t pick me or choose to marry me , i know you could have married and one and it wouldn`t have made any difference i know every thing in our life is boring and the same but guess what deep it inside me it is not the same , don`t think i don`t see you or i don`t appreciate what you do to me every single day, i love that you iron ever single shirt of mine and u chose my outfit every day , i love that you keep the house that clean and tidy , i love how you tell our kids bed time story and u imitate voices , yes i do hear you and i don`t sleep until the story is finished, i love you and i didn`t say it thinking the time passed and it is late thinking you woun`t believe me , thinking it is really strange to say it to u for the first time now after being married for nearly 8 years , but i was wrong and now i have to ask you this do me a favor and marry me could you please marry me all over again?"
she stood still for so long that she lost track of time she didn`t know a minute or an hour passed he had to say something to break the silence " i know when u think about our life together u feel that u don`t want to have it all over again , and u wish you can go back in time and change everything but for me these were the best years of my life and please give me an answer before the kids come and see their father like that , the will think that either i lost my mind or the we were not married all these years :D "
she smiled softly and then sat on her knees in front of him on the kitchen`s floor and said "i have always dreamed of a proposal like those i see in the movies and i never imagined i could have one" " yes .. yes i will marry you all over again not because anything that happened in our lives before but i will marry you again because of this , because you see me and because from now on i believe nothing will be the same. and guess what i love you too but i thought if i said it i will be silly and i was afraid that u might not love me back."
" you are silly to think that :) now i know i am late in so many things but better late that never right ?"
" yes " she said
" ok i want you to put on this ring and go upstairs and look under the bed "
" the ring looks beautiful" she wears it , he kiss her hands and she goes upstairs while he followed.
"what could possible be under the bed " she thought
she saw a huge box, she pulled it from under the bed and slowly opened it while he is leaning at the door waiting for her reaction.and in the box lies the most beautiful wedding dress she ever saw.
she looks at him with eyes filled with tears. he comes closer holds her hands and he says " i will never forget that u didn`t wear white dress and u never had a wedding because i wad too poor to afford one , you didn`t know anything about me back then but you said it doesn`t matter , you said we have to save to start a better life , and for that i loved you . for that i promised my self that the moment i have money i will make it up to u coz u deserve it "
she hugged him and kissed him on the cheek." go put it on and i will start the music " he said
" ok i will "
" honey , forgive me for being late " he said
" if being late will be that perfect then please always be late " she replied
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
A letter to GOD
Dear GOD,
you gave me eyes i used them 2 read nonsense and see ppl instead of reading your holy book & seeing your blessings,
you gave me ears i listened 2 love words &songs instead of listening 2 your miracles,
you gave me legs i used them 2 go out instead of standing up&praying all night,
you gave me voice i used it 2 speak sins instead of thanking you and talking about your mercy,
you gave me hands i used them 4 holding things that are nt mine instead of raising them with prayers ,
you gave me money i used it on shopping instead of using them to help poor people,
and now i am so afraid to meet u because i know i have nothing to say , i can`t say i had no time because you gave me that too and i spent it liking and commenting and watching tv , doing all sorts of stuff anything that does not involve YOU
what i am going to tell u and u know everything i can`t lie, the world consumed me although i know this earth is just a place where we come to go !!
i know satin does not want me to do any good yet i follow him is there any one as stupid as me ? ah yea there is my fellow humans !!!
BUT i know your door is always open i know that for sure , i know that like i know my own sins ,
this will not be the case from now on every sin must have something good to balance it untill one day the good over comes!!!
those sinful hands will pray , help the poor and help my mother at home after every time they hold something that YOU won`t approve of !!
those sinful ears will listen to holly chapter after every time they hear a song !!
those pound YOU send me , for every pound spent on luxries 2 will be spent on helping the poor !!
and i shall win every time satin does l!!!
i will get ready or die trying !!!! INSHAA ALAH !!
you gave me eyes i used them 2 read nonsense and see ppl instead of reading your holy book & seeing your blessings,
you gave me ears i listened 2 love words &songs instead of listening 2 your miracles,
you gave me legs i used them 2 go out instead of standing up&praying all night,
you gave me voice i used it 2 speak sins instead of thanking you and talking about your mercy,
you gave me hands i used them 4 holding things that are nt mine instead of raising them with prayers ,
you gave me money i used it on shopping instead of using them to help poor people,
and now i am so afraid to meet u because i know i have nothing to say , i can`t say i had no time because you gave me that too and i spent it liking and commenting and watching tv , doing all sorts of stuff anything that does not involve YOU
what i am going to tell u and u know everything i can`t lie, the world consumed me although i know this earth is just a place where we come to go !!
i know satin does not want me to do any good yet i follow him is there any one as stupid as me ? ah yea there is my fellow humans !!!
BUT i know your door is always open i know that for sure , i know that like i know my own sins ,
this will not be the case from now on every sin must have something good to balance it untill one day the good over comes!!!
those sinful hands will pray , help the poor and help my mother at home after every time they hold something that YOU won`t approve of !!
those sinful ears will listen to holly chapter after every time they hear a song !!
those pound YOU send me , for every pound spent on luxries 2 will be spent on helping the poor !!
and i shall win every time satin does l!!!
i will get ready or die trying !!!! INSHAA ALAH !!
True love
they say when you are in love u don`t want to sleep beacuse reality is better than your dreams but i don`t agree.there are many ways that u can make sure you love is true.
it is true love when dreams are far more better than what you are living but u still want to keep on living , because the pain of reality more enjoyable than the joy of dreams.
it is true love when u see in the person u love things that no body else sees not because u know him better , but because when u look at him you are actually looking inside them , u see beyond his skin , u see his soul.
it is true love when after holding your lovers hand you start to realize that there are other things your hands can do , things that make your hand an organ directly connected with your heart by a fine thread called your soul
it is true love when the person that sheds your tears is the only one who can wipe them away and any other person who tries just causes more tears and agony
it is true love when one person becomes the sun around which your world revolves
it is true love when you find a person that has everything you dream about but u still can`t leave the person you love and you realize your dreams were wrong and what u have now is right
it is true love when u hope you lover messes everything and then comes asks for your forgivness so that you can forgive him over and over again
it is true love when you pepare conversations in your head hoping that you make you lover just smile
it is true love when dreams are far more better than what you are living but u still want to keep on living , because the pain of reality more enjoyable than the joy of dreams.
it is true love when u see in the person u love things that no body else sees not because u know him better , but because when u look at him you are actually looking inside them , u see beyond his skin , u see his soul.
it is true love when after holding your lovers hand you start to realize that there are other things your hands can do , things that make your hand an organ directly connected with your heart by a fine thread called your soul
it is true love when the person that sheds your tears is the only one who can wipe them away and any other person who tries just causes more tears and agony
it is true love when one person becomes the sun around which your world revolves
it is true love when you find a person that has everything you dream about but u still can`t leave the person you love and you realize your dreams were wrong and what u have now is right
it is true love when u hope you lover messes everything and then comes asks for your forgivness so that you can forgive him over and over again
it is true love when you pepare conversations in your head hoping that you make you lover just smile
Love and relationships (1)
it takes u one minute or less to fall in love , to feel that the person in front of u is your soul mate. and i takes even less than that to end a relationship with someone. to take the decision of leaving. one minute , one situation , one action and everything is ruined !!
like when you are crying and your partner just laughs saying that you are being silly ! or like when u are really sick and hospitalized and you husband tells u it is nothing people do this surgery all the time and they don`t say they feel the pain you are talking about ! or when you are giving money for charity and your wife tells u this is just a waste of money.
at moments like this u know it , u know that this person is just your total and complete opposite. strange right ? but it happens all the time/
the same happens with marriage the thing that u love the most about your partner is the first thing u hate about him/her. if u love you husband because he reads a lot and knows everything about everything later u will accuse him of being too serious and he always leaves u for a book . if u love your wife because she is successful later u will accuse her of being away form her home and unable to do her jobs as a wife and that she is married to her work .
relationships are so strange and unpredictable.
like when you are crying and your partner just laughs saying that you are being silly ! or like when u are really sick and hospitalized and you husband tells u it is nothing people do this surgery all the time and they don`t say they feel the pain you are talking about ! or when you are giving money for charity and your wife tells u this is just a waste of money.
at moments like this u know it , u know that this person is just your total and complete opposite. strange right ? but it happens all the time/
the same happens with marriage the thing that u love the most about your partner is the first thing u hate about him/her. if u love you husband because he reads a lot and knows everything about everything later u will accuse him of being too serious and he always leaves u for a book . if u love your wife because she is successful later u will accuse her of being away form her home and unable to do her jobs as a wife and that she is married to her work .
relationships are so strange and unpredictable.
love and relationships (3)
have you ever wondered which phase of a relationship is the best ? it is not when u are together , not engagement and of course not marriage :D
the best part of any relation is the beginning the phase where you think not only about the person you have a crush on , but also about if he is thinking of you or not.
an amazing phase but no one appreciates it. people always think of what is going to happen next when they are finally together which is never as good as they imagine.
what i like the most about the first phase is the double talk. a boy can tell a girl many words that have more than one meaning and then leaves her to think about his intention.girls do the same but usually not by words they use action : a smile , a look even a missed call or adding the boy on her face book account just to let him know that he is among a huge number of other boys.
beginings are always full of promises and hopes and a huge power to change a lot of things
the best part of any relation is the beginning the phase where you think not only about the person you have a crush on , but also about if he is thinking of you or not.
an amazing phase but no one appreciates it. people always think of what is going to happen next when they are finally together which is never as good as they imagine.
what i like the most about the first phase is the double talk. a boy can tell a girl many words that have more than one meaning and then leaves her to think about his intention.girls do the same but usually not by words they use action : a smile , a look even a missed call or adding the boy on her face book account just to let him know that he is among a huge number of other boys.
beginings are always full of promises and hopes and a huge power to change a lot of things
love and realtionships (4)
"According to Elizabeth Kubler Ross, when we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial, because the loss is so unthinkable we can't imagine it's true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors angry with ourselves. Then we bargain, we beg, we plead, we offer everything we have, we offer up our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is to hard to maintain we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept we have done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance."
this is a quote from Grey`s anatomy for those who don`t know. but keep that fact aside and think with me isn`t it really true? especially in love and relationships ??
breakups are always hard. always disastrous . when someone becomes your life it is very hard to just imagine your life without him/her. you feel pain inside you. as if a fire is eating your heart up.and one moment you start going through the steps above.
breakups are not always after a relationship. if you are in love with someone who has no idea that u exist and u decide to get over him/her this is also a breakup specially if you have been building tons of plans for your future together.
breakups make u feel horrible and u start asking your self many questions. am i the problem ? can`t this be fixed ? am i ever going to find someone who loves me ? why is it that every time i choose someone to be with me i choose a wrong person .
these questions make u feel that u are not good for anything , and u can`t be loved.
breakups are heart breaking
this is a quote from Grey`s anatomy for those who don`t know. but keep that fact aside and think with me isn`t it really true? especially in love and relationships ??
breakups are always hard. always disastrous . when someone becomes your life it is very hard to just imagine your life without him/her. you feel pain inside you. as if a fire is eating your heart up.and one moment you start going through the steps above.
breakups are not always after a relationship. if you are in love with someone who has no idea that u exist and u decide to get over him/her this is also a breakup specially if you have been building tons of plans for your future together.
breakups make u feel horrible and u start asking your self many questions. am i the problem ? can`t this be fixed ? am i ever going to find someone who loves me ? why is it that every time i choose someone to be with me i choose a wrong person .
these questions make u feel that u are not good for anything , and u can`t be loved.
breakups are heart breaking
A proposal (1)
she entered her room feeling that something is different in her house today. she took small hesitating steps and opened her room door while her head moved faster than her body.she saw what appeared to be a scene from a dream she dreamed of many times.hillium filled balloons scattered all over the room`s ceiling , flowers all over the bed shaped like a heart , and flower petals all over the floor. she stood there shocked puzzled hoping that it would be him." i hope this is not one my friends making me surprise party , i just hope it is him" she said to her self. a voice inside her answered " how can it be him do u think he will just tell your parents one min i will go put some flowers in your daughter`s room ? " " of course not how stupid am i , this must be a surprise from my friends and they better not see my face dissapointed"
" i missed you " a voice came from her back. " it is him really him oh my GOD if this is a dream i will never sleep again !! " she turned around so slowly and here he was standing tall she didn`t remember he was that tall when she saw him months ago.
"how did you ... how can you ... my mother my father ...a.a.. how could u do this" she said , he placed his finger on her mouth " i asked your father , i told him that you are the only girl i see , that you are the only one i want and he is a kind man he didn`t want to deprive me from the air i breathe so he agreed to let me have the chance and the honor of making you happy will u be as kind as he is ? "
she couldn`t utter a word she was completely and totally speechless . tears gathered in her eyes as he took a ring box out of his pocket and sat on his knees " do me the honor and be mine " he said
she still couldn`t say and thing as if she forgot the words , or as if words are just mere letters that will not describe how she really feels
" i asked your father to give me just few moments to surprise u if we stayed here longer than that he will take his words back :D:D " he said . her lips parted a Little with tears running down her cheeks " yes .. yes i will marry u i will be the happiest woman if i did "
he placed the ring on her finger and got up he was about to hug her when she stopped him saying " my father wanted to install a camera in my room when i was wrong to know who starts beating who first when me and my brothers where young i wish he did that :D:D
he laughed and opened the door for her and he said " by the way we will not go out for a long time" "why" she said " because i spent every penny i have on the balloons and the ring " the both laughed and held each others hands and went out to sit with their parents.
" i missed you " a voice came from her back. " it is him really him oh my GOD if this is a dream i will never sleep again !! " she turned around so slowly and here he was standing tall she didn`t remember he was that tall when she saw him months ago.
"how did you ... how can you ... my mother my father ...a.a.. how could u do this" she said , he placed his finger on her mouth " i asked your father , i told him that you are the only girl i see , that you are the only one i want and he is a kind man he didn`t want to deprive me from the air i breathe so he agreed to let me have the chance and the honor of making you happy will u be as kind as he is ? "
she couldn`t utter a word she was completely and totally speechless . tears gathered in her eyes as he took a ring box out of his pocket and sat on his knees " do me the honor and be mine " he said
she still couldn`t say and thing as if she forgot the words , or as if words are just mere letters that will not describe how she really feels
" i asked your father to give me just few moments to surprise u if we stayed here longer than that he will take his words back :D:D " he said . her lips parted a Little with tears running down her cheeks " yes .. yes i will marry u i will be the happiest woman if i did "
he placed the ring on her finger and got up he was about to hug her when she stopped him saying " my father wanted to install a camera in my room when i was wrong to know who starts beating who first when me and my brothers where young i wish he did that :D:D
he laughed and opened the door for her and he said " by the way we will not go out for a long time" "why" she said " because i spent every penny i have on the balloons and the ring " the both laughed and held each others hands and went out to sit with their parents.
pain in disguise
" how can love be that difficult " she thought " my only dream was to fall in love and then live with the person i love for the rest of my life and start a family why did he have to turn this simple tale of mine into a complicated painful disaster ?? " she wished she could leave she wished she had that power she hears about in books and stories . she has been living her life with him because simply she knows she can`t live it without him , because she has no idea about the way time passed before she knew him . and GOD knows she tried and tried but her heart was like a little boy who does know his way home unless his parents hold him by the hand and walk with him. she has no clue without him , no purpose . how did he do that she never knew , how could he be that powerful , and how did he mesmariese her heart she will never know .
he called her as he does every day , she liked that about him , he always calls .his voice seemed different .
he : " i wanted to tell u something , but please try to get me right , i love u i really do , but i can`t go on , i can`t continue my life with you , i just don`t feel we belong together , your
thoughts are so different than mine and if we can endure there differences now i feel we will not be able to that in the future , i know this will hurt u because i know that you love me so much , i know it will be hard on you in the begging but later on it will be easier on you with time "
she kept silent for about 5 minutes then words came out of her mouth so fast like soda water coming out of a coke bottle that has been moved so fast in all possible directions.
" you u think your words are going to break me right , u think this is my end and by your words u took my oxgyen away , but you are totally wrong , every day i spent with you u hurt me , each day you broke little piece of my heart , and now it learned to stop feeding on oxygen and feed on carbon dioxide !!!, each day you broke me and now it no longer hurts , u want to leave me right ? and u think it will be hard on me ?? i really pity you , u can`t live a single day without me and u will know that , u will know that u need me around you to satisfy your ego , but u know what i don`t regret knowing you or doing all what i did for you , i just regret not listening to my heart when it was screaming for help "
she hung up with him feeling so blessed that he is the one who broke it all up , she thought she was happy with him , she thought this was it and she was the one messing it up with being so sensitive , but now it she understood that is was like a white sugar coated cup filled with dark black sour coffee , a pain in disguise ...........
he called her as he does every day , she liked that about him , he always calls .his voice seemed different .
he : " i wanted to tell u something , but please try to get me right , i love u i really do , but i can`t go on , i can`t continue my life with you , i just don`t feel we belong together , your
thoughts are so different than mine and if we can endure there differences now i feel we will not be able to that in the future , i know this will hurt u because i know that you love me so much , i know it will be hard on you in the begging but later on it will be easier on you with time "
she kept silent for about 5 minutes then words came out of her mouth so fast like soda water coming out of a coke bottle that has been moved so fast in all possible directions.
" you u think your words are going to break me right , u think this is my end and by your words u took my oxgyen away , but you are totally wrong , every day i spent with you u hurt me , each day you broke little piece of my heart , and now it learned to stop feeding on oxygen and feed on carbon dioxide !!!, each day you broke me and now it no longer hurts , u want to leave me right ? and u think it will be hard on me ?? i really pity you , u can`t live a single day without me and u will know that , u will know that u need me around you to satisfy your ego , but u know what i don`t regret knowing you or doing all what i did for you , i just regret not listening to my heart when it was screaming for help "
she hung up with him feeling so blessed that he is the one who broke it all up , she thought she was happy with him , she thought this was it and she was the one messing it up with being so sensitive , but now it she understood that is was like a white sugar coated cup filled with dark black sour coffee , a pain in disguise ...........
what is the worst thing that could happen ??
when ever you are really scared of something people keep asking you this question " what is the worst thing that could happen?". when i was at college waiting for my results my dad used to ask me that , and i used to answer " i might fail and repeat the year " and then he answers " then u will repeat the year and lean from your mistakes , you are still young "
it is amazing how he made that so simple. but the problem is : what people usually put as "the worst that could happen" is not actually that horrible when compared to what actually happens!!! what happens always exceeds your expectations and your limited imagination.
so here is how it goes : your wedding day approaches and u freak out that the day won`t turn out to be as u hoped but what happens is that day does not come and your relationship with that person does not continue to your wedding day !!!
the results day comes and you think of that subject in which you did so bad and you think it is only one subject even if you had to repeat it this will not be a big deal , but then that day comes and you fail that other subject that you think u did great in its exam , or even worst u fail the year !!!
so what can u do to avoid that ?? the answer is : don`t expect please don`t , because nothing really matters. you may not even live until that results day , you may not even live till tomorrow so don`t burden your hearts with even thinking what could take place , u did what you thought is right , what you thought will make u happy one day , what will happen next is not important bec, next might not even come !! ad even if it did pain will end someday with the end of time and life !
it is amazing how he made that so simple. but the problem is : what people usually put as "the worst that could happen" is not actually that horrible when compared to what actually happens!!! what happens always exceeds your expectations and your limited imagination.
so here is how it goes : your wedding day approaches and u freak out that the day won`t turn out to be as u hoped but what happens is that day does not come and your relationship with that person does not continue to your wedding day !!!
the results day comes and you think of that subject in which you did so bad and you think it is only one subject even if you had to repeat it this will not be a big deal , but then that day comes and you fail that other subject that you think u did great in its exam , or even worst u fail the year !!!
so what can u do to avoid that ?? the answer is : don`t expect please don`t , because nothing really matters. you may not even live until that results day , you may not even live till tomorrow so don`t burden your hearts with even thinking what could take place , u did what you thought is right , what you thought will make u happy one day , what will happen next is not important bec, next might not even come !! ad even if it did pain will end someday with the end of time and life !
Enosiophobia or Enissophobia
Enosiophobia or Enissophobia - An abnormal, persistent fear of committing an unpardonable sin.
great my disease has a name !! a phobia ! well let me be honest it is not that i am surprised or something , and not that i want to cure it . but a phobia !! that is a big word. it is not just that i am shopaholic , and i talk to myself , and i cry for no reason , it seems all of those are not enough and now there is phobia.
when did it all start i have no idea , but it seems like my conscience is up 24/7 and i want to kill it but i know it will reproach me for that too .sometimes i have this crazy idea that i can have one day in which i can do anything i want , anything at all but GOD does not count it as a sin . no matter what i do or what i say . would that be fun ? religious ppl will say no way and what a terrible idea i am thinking about but think with me . drugs no no they are harmful any way and so is alcohol .
there must be something .actually there is . if i have this day i will fall passionately in love and get married. yes get married , i just want it to be so simple someone who loves me and asks ME to be his wife . not someone who loves me then he has to gain a pile of money then go convince his parents and then mine so that we could take permission to do something that we already have the right to do !!! this is what i like about Americans . here in Egypt if u go get married you are cursed and your parents never forgive you and maybe ppl stop knowing you !!!!
i guess life is too short to follow the rules and i am too coward to break them !! i just fear i will break my mothers heart , and then GOD will never forgive me and i will die a sinner !!
Enosiophobia or Enissophobia - An abnormal, persistent fear of committing an unpardonable sin.
great my disease has a name !! a phobia ! well let me be honest it is not that i am surprised or something , and not that i want to cure it . but a phobia !! that is a big word. it is not just that i am shopaholic , and i talk to myself , and i cry for no reason , it seems all of those are not enough and now there is phobia.
when did it all start i have no idea , but it seems like my conscience is up 24/7 and i want to kill it but i know it will reproach me for that too .sometimes i have this crazy idea that i can have one day in which i can do anything i want , anything at all but GOD does not count it as a sin . no matter what i do or what i say . would that be fun ? religious ppl will say no way and what a terrible idea i am thinking about but think with me . drugs no no they are harmful any way and so is alcohol .
there must be something .actually there is . if i have this day i will fall passionately in love and get married. yes get married , i just want it to be so simple someone who loves me and asks ME to be his wife . not someone who loves me then he has to gain a pile of money then go convince his parents and then mine so that we could take permission to do something that we already have the right to do !!! this is what i like about Americans . here in Egypt if u go get married you are cursed and your parents never forgive you and maybe ppl stop knowing you !!!!
i guess life is too short to follow the rules and i am too coward to break them !! i just fear i will break my mothers heart , and then GOD will never forgive me and i will die a sinner !!
Enosiophobia or Enissophobia - An abnormal, persistent fear of committing an unpardonable sin.
Dear dad
dear dad,
did u ever feel so confused that u want to pause every thing around you ? did u ever feel that you don`t belong ? I don`t think u ever felt that , you always made things simple that is a gene i didn`t get from you.
before u died u talked to me about patience , and the subject was totally out of context and that is why I think it is very important , like this was your last lesson to teach me. I know this is one thing no one can teach me but you . u always waited , u didn`t complain although things were getting really hard , how did you do that ?! i guess u had more faith in your heart than I did , I guess u never sinned , and even if u did u had tons and tons of good deeds to erase your sins before they are even committed !!
daddy`s little girl 3`oda :)
did u ever feel so confused that u want to pause every thing around you ? did u ever feel that you don`t belong ? I don`t think u ever felt that , you always made things simple that is a gene i didn`t get from you.
before u died u talked to me about patience , and the subject was totally out of context and that is why I think it is very important , like this was your last lesson to teach me. I know this is one thing no one can teach me but you . u always waited , u didn`t complain although things were getting really hard , how did you do that ?! i guess u had more faith in your heart than I did , I guess u never sinned , and even if u did u had tons and tons of good deeds to erase your sins before they are even committed !!
daddy`s little girl 3`oda :)
Dear dad
dear dad ,
when u were a life did u think about what will happen after u die ? I don`t know why but recently i was thinking about that.
I don`t know why but I feel that there is going to be a very big surprise !! one of 2 things can happen either I find that every thing i have been doing is totally wrong and hell is my place
or I will find out that life could have been much more easier and I could have lived it better and gone to heaven also but i made it harder for me and ppl around me !!!
what happened with you ?? were u surprised ?? did u find what u expected? i think u did , a man like you belongs to heaven :)
dady`s little girl 3`oda
when u were a life did u think about what will happen after u die ? I don`t know why but recently i was thinking about that.
I don`t know why but I feel that there is going to be a very big surprise !! one of 2 things can happen either I find that every thing i have been doing is totally wrong and hell is my place
or I will find out that life could have been much more easier and I could have lived it better and gone to heaven also but i made it harder for me and ppl around me !!!
what happened with you ?? were u surprised ?? did u find what u expected? i think u did , a man like you belongs to heaven :)
dady`s little girl 3`oda
Dear dad
dear dad ,
I want to decide to live can u help me do that ? I want to have fun and enjoy my life , I believe that I am too young for sadness and misery.
do u think I can have both ? happiness and heaven ? and I am not talking about spiritual happiness I am talking about falling in love deeply , holding my lovers hands and laughing out loud ! can I ever have both?? did u ??
ahhh if u can just answer my questions , if I could have asked them before u went away !!
people are trying to think i am getting crazy and they are right , I think of things that now one else thinks about , and even if they do they don`t let it occupy their time .
I want to live , I don`t want to die alive , I don`t want to bury my soul in my body and society , I want to be happy and i feel that u can teach me how to live when you are dead , only you can !
dadd`s little girl 3`oda
I want to decide to live can u help me do that ? I want to have fun and enjoy my life , I believe that I am too young for sadness and misery.
do u think I can have both ? happiness and heaven ? and I am not talking about spiritual happiness I am talking about falling in love deeply , holding my lovers hands and laughing out loud ! can I ever have both?? did u ??
ahhh if u can just answer my questions , if I could have asked them before u went away !!
people are trying to think i am getting crazy and they are right , I think of things that now one else thinks about , and even if they do they don`t let it occupy their time .
I want to live , I don`t want to die alive , I don`t want to bury my soul in my body and society , I want to be happy and i feel that u can teach me how to live when you are dead , only you can !
dadd`s little girl 3`oda
Dear dad
dear dad ,
sorry for not writing to u in the anniversary of your departure but i didn`t find words ! , do u know how many of my friends still remember you , they still remember your sweet face when u came to take me from school
you are the best dad on earth , I miss u like hell , like no will ever do , I wish i could bring you back just one more time , one little hug , one little kiss on the cheek .
did u know that more than one time I dreamed that GOD gave u back to me for just one more time !! little days in wish I got to meet you again and be with you , I which I could ask u all the questions I need and get all the answers I want
I love you more than words could tell :)
daddy`s little girl 3`oda :)
sorry for not writing to u in the anniversary of your departure but i didn`t find words ! , do u know how many of my friends still remember you , they still remember your sweet face when u came to take me from school
you are the best dad on earth , I miss u like hell , like no will ever do , I wish i could bring you back just one more time , one little hug , one little kiss on the cheek .
did u know that more than one time I dreamed that GOD gave u back to me for just one more time !! little days in wish I got to meet you again and be with you , I which I could ask u all the questions I need and get all the answers I want
I love you more than words could tell :)
daddy`s little girl 3`oda :)
Dear dad
dear dad ,
I am so sorry , I know that u see me and as much as I like that I hate it !! because I know that what you see makes u hate me.
I am not who you think I am , who you which that I become. I grew into a bad creature that does not deserve to have a father like you
I am extremely sorry I hope I could blind fold you eyes to my sins and mistakes , and GOD knows these mistakes are not your fault by any means
I am sorry , please forgive me or forget me so that i might not hurt you again
try to find it in your heart to accept my apology , and forgive me for messing my life so much after you spent your whole life trying to make something good out of me
I am so sorry , I know that u see me and as much as I like that I hate it !! because I know that what you see makes u hate me.
I am not who you think I am , who you which that I become. I grew into a bad creature that does not deserve to have a father like you
I am extremely sorry I hope I could blind fold you eyes to my sins and mistakes , and GOD knows these mistakes are not your fault by any means
I am sorry , please forgive me or forget me so that i might not hurt you again
try to find it in your heart to accept my apology , and forgive me for messing my life so much after you spent your whole life trying to make something good out of me
Dear dad
dear dad ,
what is wrong with me ? why do i panic a lot for no apparent reason or for reasons that do not need panicking at all ?
I do not know what I want and even when i do , I don`t work hard enough to get it and yet I can`t leave.
I don`t study , I don`t work , yet I want money and I want to pass !! how crazy is that ?!
am I doing the right thing or just wasting another year of my life ? I really want to do what i am doing why the hell is it that makes me unable to do that till the end !!!!
I am screwed in every aspect of my life , I feel like a complete and total failure , and I miss you a lot i know you are not going to answer me but i can`t quit talking to you.
what is wrong with me ? why do i panic a lot for no apparent reason or for reasons that do not need panicking at all ?
I do not know what I want and even when i do , I don`t work hard enough to get it and yet I can`t leave.
I don`t study , I don`t work , yet I want money and I want to pass !! how crazy is that ?!
am I doing the right thing or just wasting another year of my life ? I really want to do what i am doing why the hell is it that makes me unable to do that till the end !!!!
I am screwed in every aspect of my life , I feel like a complete and total failure , and I miss you a lot i know you are not going to answer me but i can`t quit talking to you.
Dear dad
dear dad ,
I love food ! I just do ! don`t u think that life has no meaning if u just don`t eat and try new things every now and then ?
I mean what could life possible mean without pasta with white sauce ? or brownies with ice cream topped with chocolate sauce and flowed by a cup of hot late ? ! now tell me how do people live without that ! without burger sandwiches and cakes and chicken with mayonnaise !
I want to loose weight i really hate my face when it looks fat but I just can`t stand one more day of not eating what do I live for then !
I am currently reading a novel called Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert she went to Italy and she kept eating many kinds of amazing food. she ate pizza in Naples dad ! i wonder how could that have tasted !
I love food ! I just do ! don`t u think that life has no meaning if u just don`t eat and try new things every now and then ?
I mean what could life possible mean without pasta with white sauce ? or brownies with ice cream topped with chocolate sauce and flowed by a cup of hot late ? ! now tell me how do people live without that ! without burger sandwiches and cakes and chicken with mayonnaise !
I want to loose weight i really hate my face when it looks fat but I just can`t stand one more day of not eating what do I live for then !
I am currently reading a novel called Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert she went to Italy and she kept eating many kinds of amazing food. she ate pizza in Naples dad ! i wonder how could that have tasted !
dear dad ,
I have the flu. I feel really fragile and I want to stay all the day long in bed and actually I kind of did that.
I remember how u used to take care of me when u were alive no one takes good care of me like u. no one passes by my room and checks every now and then weather I have a fever or not , or weather I took medicine or not.
I miss how u used to take good care of me and make me feel like a princess , like there is no one else in the world but me. I miss how u used to put your hands on any part that hurts and read Quraan until the pain goes away.
I have the flu. I feel really fragile and I want to stay all the day long in bed and actually I kind of did that.
I remember how u used to take care of me when u were alive no one takes good care of me like u. no one passes by my room and checks every now and then weather I have a fever or not , or weather I took medicine or not.
I miss how u used to take good care of me and make me feel like a princess , like there is no one else in the world but me. I miss how u used to put your hands on any part that hurts and read Quraan until the pain goes away.
Dear dad
dear dad ,
did it ever occur to you that GOD protects sinners ? I just think HE does , I think that some people are not cut for sinning no matter how much satin tries , he might push them to sin while angels make sure they never enjoy the sinful act itself. that is a kind of divine protection. i always thought that if someone is going to do something wrong he might as well enjoy it , but it is not that easy.
did it ever occur to you that GOD protects sinners ? I just think HE does , I think that some people are not cut for sinning no matter how much satin tries , he might push them to sin while angels make sure they never enjoy the sinful act itself. that is a kind of divine protection. i always thought that if someone is going to do something wrong he might as well enjoy it , but it is not that easy.
u see , the human being is just to arrogant to confess that he is vulnerable , that he can be tempted easily. he always thinks that he can stop himself at the right time , that he can be in a bar but still does not drink , that he can kiss a girl without going further , that he can be friends with thief and yet remain a descent man. as if he wears a sin proof suit every day the moment he wakes up !
guess what i do that too ! or at least i used to now i am planning not to any more. I am planing to know what I really can do and what I know I will not be able to do , or rather what deep down inside me I know i don`t want to do .I always tend to give my self a power of a super hero or underestimate myself dangerously , never in the middle. I never admitted certain things to myself.
I always convince myself that I am hard worker although I know i am not ! I just desperately want to be one.
what about u :) ? do feel like i do ? or it is just me acting insane as usual ?
your little girl 3`oda :)
I always convince myself that I am hard worker although I know i am not ! I just desperately want to be one.
what about u :) ? do feel like i do ? or it is just me acting insane as usual ?
your little girl 3`oda :)
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