Enosiophobia or Enissophobia - An abnormal, persistent fear of committing an unpardonable sin.
great my disease has a name !! a phobia ! well let me be honest it is not that i am surprised or something , and not that i want to cure it . but a phobia !! that is a big word. it is not just that i am shopaholic , and i talk to myself , and i cry for no reason , it seems all of those are not enough and now there is phobia.
when did it all start i have no idea , but it seems like my conscience is up 24/7 and i want to kill it but i know it will reproach me for that too .sometimes i have this crazy idea that i can have one day in which i can do anything i want , anything at all but GOD does not count it as a sin . no matter what i do or what i say . would that be fun ? religious ppl will say no way and what a terrible idea i am thinking about but think with me . drugs no no they are harmful any way and so is alcohol .
there must be something .actually there is . if i have this day i will fall passionately in love and get married. yes get married , i just want it to be so simple someone who loves me and asks ME to be his wife . not someone who loves me then he has to gain a pile of money then go convince his parents and then mine so that we could take permission to do something that we already have the right to do !!! this is what i like about Americans . here in Egypt if u go get married you are cursed and your parents never forgive you and maybe ppl stop knowing you !!!!
i guess life is too short to follow the rules and i am too coward to break them !! i just fear i will break my mothers heart , and then GOD will never forgive me and i will die a sinner !!
Enosiophobia or Enissophobia - An abnormal, persistent fear of committing an unpardonable sin.
No comments:
Post a Comment